I was just thinking today about how much I have changed since just 5 years ago. Then I was pondering, “I can’t believe I would have said that then, or thought that then…how silly.” Then, my thoughts took another turn, and I wondered what things 5 years from now of which I will say, “I can’t believe I would have said that then, or thought that then…how silly.” Or of what I will look back on 5 years from now and say, “What ever led me to that conclusion of path?” Or, “Goodness, I have changed so much in that aspect.” And then 5 years from there? And 5 years from there? And so on.

Why, I bet I’ll think I was just a silly, ignorant 23 year old when I’m 40, and I just won’t be able to believe that I did or said that. I shall realize if only I had done this or that such and such could have been prevented, or if only I wouldn’t have opened my mouth there, (or perhaps on the rare occasion, if only I had open my mouth there) - you get the point. I shall be wiser then. But not nearly as wise as I shall be when I am 50. Or 60 after that. Or 70 after that.

It’s a sobering thought, that though I can think I know something: if I can look back on just a mere 5 years ago, and realize how little I knew, and how much I’ve learned, on the other hand - in 5 years from now, what will there be yet to learn, and therefore - how little must I know now? It’s rather frightening. Quite frightening enough to make me not want to speak at all. After all, what if I really don’t know?

Perhaps my friend Octy Hammond knows the best way to go about it after all.