3 Years of Marriage (and a day)

June 6, 2007 at 7:54 pm (Personal, Song Lyrics/Poems By Me)

Calvin showed me up yesterday by posting a sweet piece about our life together so far, so I just wanted to put my own two cents in! I really was going to say something yesterday on our 3 year anniversary, but it got too late by the time we were finished having a lovely evening together. He of course blogged from work, how he manages to do this I don’t know, I am working at work, not blogging……. 😉

So Calvin surprised me with some beautiful flowers:
annivflowers
We watched Never Been Kissed, which is a cute movie, and then we snuggled and chatted over my favorite! the Strawberry White Zinfandel:
zinfandel

All in all, a lovely evening, and I’m looking forward to Sunday when we do our “big” celebration of the King and I and Outback (I’m guilty of the choice on this every anniversary so far – though Calvin insists he loves their chicken, he’s not a steak person, and I am – but I offer somewhere else, and he insists!).

As we’ve been packing, I’ve run across old letters that I used to write to Calvin in High School during boring classes or study hall (er…maybe that’s kinda like him blogging at work?). Even though we chatted online all the time, for some reason I insisted on writing snail mail letters just because I wanted to chat about absolutely nothing and make him a part of my day while he was so far away.

I’m so glad that you’re a daily part of my life forever now! There’s no one I’d rather be married to than my absolute best friend in the whole wide world, and I love you with all my heart Calvin!!

(For those of you unfamiliar with our history, I blogged it all down once here)

Valentine
by Jim Brickman

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I’d still feel for you

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
until the end of time
You’re all I need, my love, my Valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You’ve opened my eyes
And shown me how to love unselfishly

I’ve dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn’t love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You’re all I need, my love, my Valentine

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
until the end of time
‘Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You’re all I need, my love, my Valentine

Advertisements

Permalink 2 Comments

If Ever I Knew You

December 5, 2006 at 8:00 pm (Song Lyrics/Poems By Me)

I’ve heard it sung
That my tears are in the palm of your hand
Or something like that
I’ve heard it sung
That you love a sacrifice of praise
Or something like that

Maybe someone should sing
about the sacrifices of tears
that you hold in your hands
‘Cause it’s all you ever seem
to desire out of me

If ever I knew you
It’s sure not now
‘Cause all I ever hear on Sunday morning
Is all about your love and grace and mercy

If ever I knew you
It’s sure not now
‘Cause all I ever see from these misted eyes
Is once again me falling and you watching

If ever I knew you

I’ve heard it sung
That the trials are for a reason
Or something like that
But I’ve also heard it sung
That you never ever leave me
Or something like that

Well I’ve never heard it sung
That you could sit on a mountaintop
Nowhere a mere donkey could climb
While dangling a giant carrot on a string
in front of my nose

If ever I knew you
It’s sure not now
‘Cause all I ever hear on Sunday morning
Is all about your love and grace and mercy

If ever I knew you
It’s sure not now
‘Cause all I ever see from these misted eyes
Is once again me falling and you watching

If ever I knew you

Can’t you see I’m only trying to run the race? (More like a maze)
Why do you insist on spiting every move I make? (When will this end?)
Can you hear me screaming? (Can’t you hear me pleading?)

Deliver me….

If ever I knew you
If ever I knew you

Prove me wrong, please.

Permalink 1 Comment

The Modern Lament Psalm

October 23, 2006 at 9:34 pm (Song Lyrics/Poems By Me, Theology and the Bible)

Calvin and I just recently picked up Skillet’s newest albulm, “Comatose,” which I think just has some excellent lyrics. But one song in particular interested me, because after pondering the lyrics for awhile, I decided that it sounded very much like a lament Psalm. Now you might think, “Sure, alot of hard music sounds lamenty in nature,” but I mean really really, this one sounds like a lament Psalm, put in modern words, even down to some parallelism (though keep in mind it is a song), the intense emotion, some metaphors you’ll see used in lament Psalms, and some very interesting thoughts you don’t see used in Christian music too often, directed at God…

Observe:

Falling Inside the Black
by Skillet – Comatose

Tonight I’m so alone
This sorrow takes ahold
Don’t leave me here so cold
Never want to be so cold

Your touch used to be so kind
Your touch used to give me life
I’ve waited all this time,
I’ve wasted so much time

Don’t leave me all alone
Cause I barely see at all
Don’t leave me alone I’m

[chorus]
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me
Falling inside the black
Falling inside falling inside the black

You were my source of strength
I’ve traded everything
That I love for this one thing
Stranded in the offering
Don’t leave me here like this
Can’t hear me scream from the abyss
And now I wish for you my desire

[chorus]
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me
Falling inside the black
Falling inside falling inside the black

Don’t leave me alone cause I barely see at all
Don’t leave me alone

Now I’m not entirely certain whether or not the song is supposed to be about someone who has gotten themselves into this situation because of sin/backsliding, or just they are just going through a hard time (that may be somewhat up to the intepretation of the person listening). Given the theme of the album as a whole, which I had the opportunity to hear the band talk about in person – the overwhelming number of Christians who are apathetic/not living for God and need to turn back to him, it could be meant to be about someone who has gotten themselves into the situation of being far away from God by walking away and now they feel it’s “too late” and are crying for God to return to them. Irregardless, the lament Psalm theme still works, as it’s about separation from God.

Now, observe some themes from Scripture. Obviously the whole feeling alone and sorrowful thing is there:

Tonight I’m so alone
This sorrow takes ahold
Don’t leave me here so cold
Never want to be so cold

Ps. 6:3, 6
My soul also is greatly troubled.
But you, O Lord—how long?
I am weary with my moaning;
every night I flood my bed with tears;
I drench my couch with my weeping

Ps 13:1-2
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

And then the words of utter desperation and abandonment, paying special attention to the wondering if God can hear the cry:

Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me
Falling inside the black
Falling inside falling inside the black

Ps 22:1-2
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,
and by night, but I find no rest.

Ps 28:1a
To you, O Lord, I call;
my rock, be not deaf to me,

Then there is the eye metphor:

Cause I barely see at all

Ps. 6:7a
My eye wastes away because of grief;

Ps. 31:9
Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
my eye is wasted from grief;
my soul and my body also.

But even more fascinating:

Don’t leave me here like this
Can’t hear me scream from the abyss

Ps. 6:5
For in death there is no remembrance of you;
in Sheol who will give you praise?

Ps. 28:1b
lest, if you be silent to me,
I become like those who go down to the pit.

Elements that talk about when God used to be near, but now he is far:

Your touch used to be so kind
Your touch used to give me life

Dreaming of the way it used to be

Ps. 77:1-9
1 I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, and he will hear me.
2  In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
my soul refuses to be comforted.
3 When I remember God, I moan;
when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah
4 You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5 I consider the days of old,
the years long ago.
6 I said, “Let me remember my song in the night;
let me meditate in my heart.”
Then my spirit made a diligent search:
7 “ Will the Lord spurn forever,
and never again be favorable?
8 Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?”

And finally, this line:

I’ve traded everything
That I love for this one thing
Stranded in the offering

I don’t know as there’s a direct correlation to a verse, but the direct accusation of God “stranding” the person in their offering of love to him, is very bold for Christian music and Christians, though not so bold for the writers of the Psalms, and I haven’t even touched on Job, so I thought I’d throw it in there, ’cause I think it relates.

Anyways, so I admit maybe I’m overanalyzing, but I just really liked this song because it sort of reminded me of the lament psalm…a modern one. ‘Course, I guess it’s in the category of Psalm 88 since there’s no, “God will save me after all” caption at the end. 😉

Permalink 2 Comments

One Life to Live

January 20, 2006 at 10:23 pm (Song Lyrics/Poems By Me)

One Life to Live

Looking back, looking forward
The things I leave behind
The things I’m moving toward

The path behind
filled with joy and pain
The path ahead – doubtless the same

I’ve only one life to live
One life to give
Through laughter and tears
I will live out my years
Only one life to love
One life to show
The gift you have given
May all that I do
Reflect you

The choices I’ve made
The many paths I’ve faced
Have all shaped my way

The people I’ve met
The struggles I’ve had
Make me who I am today

Only one life to live
One life to give
Through laughter and tears
I will live out my years
Only one life to love
One life to show
The gift you have given
May all that I do
Reflect you

Still so young, still so far
Such a long ways to go
I’m overwhelmed by your grace
May it carry me through

My one life to live
One life to give
Through laughter and tears
I will live out my years
Only one life to love
One life to show
The gift you have given
May all that I do
Reflect you

Overwhelmed by your grace
May it carry me through…
My one life to live

Permalink Leave a Comment

Sunday Again

July 3, 2005 at 8:31 am (Church, Song Lyrics/Poems By Me)

Sunday Again

By: Me (but not about me…just a general song)

Sunday’s here again
She’s laughing with her friends
The music’s polished to a tee
The preacher’s at his best

And here she is again
Waving goodbye to her friends
Walking out the door
Going home in her car

And the emptiness closes in
The loneliness rises within

She wasn’t gonna cry tonight
She was gonna push it all away
But she’s sinking fast tonight
And feels the weight of the pain
She doesn’t want to die
Just a reason to believe

Sunday’s here again
And it’s back to the old games
Neatly in place is her façade
Yet she wonders what they’d say

To the hurt she holds inside
To the many nights she’s cried
But she doesn’t even try
Why should she even try?

And the emptiness closes in
The loneliness rises within

She wasn’t gonna cry tonight
She was gonna push it all away
But she’s sinking fast tonight
And feels the weight of the pain
She doesn’t want to die
Just a reason to believe

Sunday’s here again
She’s laughing with her friends
The music’s polished to a tee
The preacher’s at his best

But she feels so alone
In the midst of a crowd
They don’t know the hurt inside
The nights that she’s cried

Yet even as her heart is breaking
Another person’s world is shaking
A body of people lost alone at sea
What a bitter irony
Their strength failing, and their hope dim
And none of them know how to swim

And the emptiness closes in
The loneliness rises within

They weren’t gonna cry tonight
They were gonna push it all away
But they’re sinking fast tonight
And they feel the weight of their pain
They don’t want to die
Just a reason to believe

There’s a reason to believe
There’s a reason to believe

Permalink Leave a Comment

Fake

July 2, 2005 at 10:48 am (Church, Song Lyrics/Poems By Me)

Fake

By: Me

A family, a body; Christian unity
Brother and sister, you and me
It sounds so nice while sitting in church
We nod in agreement as we hurt

A smile, a laugh, a pat on the back
This replaces the intimacy we lack
Two hours a week we get our church
And this is supposed to heal our hurts?

I’ll tell you what it’s all about
I’ll tell you how it is

It’s fake
We’re all a bunch of fakes
Our smiles are learned
While lives are burned
It’s fake
We’re all a bunch of fakes
Don’t tell me
I won’t tell you
It’s fake

We wonder why we’re such a wreck
Divorce and drugs, abuse and sex
We chalk it up to society
Really the problem is with you and me

We live in an alternate reality
To think our lives are so pristine
But we don’t even want to change
Even though we could heal the pain

But I’ll tell you what it’s all about
I’ll tell you how it is

It’s fake
We’re all a bunch of fakes
Our smiles are learned
While lives are burned
It’s fake
We’re all a bunch of fakes
Don’t tell me
I won’t tell you
It’s fake

He’s struggling with sin
He keeps giving in
But no one knows about it
Even though he wants to win

She needs something for the pain
She’s at the wrong place
But no one knows about it
At least not till she’s gone

We were meant to live this life together
Any storm we could weather
If only we would drop the walls
If only we could bare our souls

It’s fake
We’re all a bunch of fakes
Our smiles are learned
While lives are burned
It’s fake
We’re all a bunch of fakes
Don’t tell me
I won’t tell you
It’s fake

Permalink Leave a Comment

A Lament of the Church

December 19, 2004 at 11:18 pm (Church, Song Lyrics/Poems By Me)

A lament in true Hebrew poetry form (except in English), that I wrote.

O God, hear us now
Open your ears to our cry
Have you abandoned your people?
Will you forget your chosen ones?

We are drowning in apathy
Our sins overcome us
The faithful are few
They cry out for help

We have hearts of stone
Cold and unyielding
Our minds are like sawdust
Empty and worthless

Our ears are deaf
We cannot hear your voice
Our eyes are blind
We cannot see your glory

And you, O Lord, you hide your face
You stand aside and watch us die
You give blessing to our fall
Will you indeed turn away and let us die?

Save us, Lord our God
Reach down your hand
Deliver us from ourselves
Make your presence known

Give us understanding hearts
Let our eyes see once more
Open our ears to hear again
O God, renew our minds

Remember those who seek you
Those who delight in your word
Do not forget your devoted ones
Your people who honor your name

The peoples spit in your face
For we have tarnished your name
Do not allow your name to be mocked
Show your people your power

Restore your people
Let us come into your presence
But cut off the wicked
Those who refuse to seek you

Then we will praise your name
We will shout of your greatness
All the world will hear our voice
And you will receive much glory

For our hope is only in you
God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob
If you do not act quickly
We will surely perish

We give thanks to the Lord
For he has heard our cry
He is faithful to his people
He will not forget them forever

He will not let them be a reproach
Ashamed before the face of the earth
But they will be a people of faith
And all the nations will look to the Lord

For he alone is God
Immeasurable in power and strength
He is gracious and faithful
His lovingkindness lasts forever

Permalink Comments Off on A Lament of the Church